Psychologists often say that we often won't let go of a negative situation because we've either not experienced enough pain with the situation or what we think of as pain is actually something we enjoy.
In other words, there's something that we are getting out of our so-called negative situation.
Feng shui is a study of energy and its effect on our lives. Well, whether the energy is between our walls or between our ears, it's still goofing us up. That's why if you think that simply moving things around your house is going to take care of everything, you need to reassess your own inner feng shui.
Part of the difficulty of problems and obstacles is that we have a hard time letting go of them.
You may find that even in a bad situation, you want to hang on to a problem because it validates your negative thoughts or opinions that you might have of yourself.
You see, we get used to pain.
We become accustomed to things being bad that it becomes the "way things are" for us. A scene from the film Pretty Woman illustrates this point. In the movie, Julia Roberts' character Vivian is being complimented nicely by Richard Gere's character. She brushes off the kind words and when he asks her why she says "The bad stuff is so much easier to believe."
If you can't believe something good, then try just not having a belief and adopting a neutral stance about negative feelings.
Letting go is sometimes the best way to find ourselves.
In letting go of what you don't want, try assessing the following:
- Am I really, truly ready to move on from _______?
- And if so, what is stopping me?
- Or, am I really getting something out this negative situation?
One cautionary note is that you have to be completely honest with yourself. Do you enjoy your pain - is it a crutch, something to hold on to and blame for everything else in your life that makes you unhappy or goes wrong? This single block stands in the way of other good things, too. Feng shui is about removing blocks and obstacles so the energy in your life starts flowing again.
Most of us at any single time have a solitary thing that makes us the most unhappy.
I know someone who has serious neck problems but is scared to death of having surgery that would make him pain-free even though I told him that this is not a fun procedure (I had neck surgery), it is immediately gratifying.
The sad point is that this person would rather have the pain and keep it, like an old friend, than be free and unrestricted from it. He doesn't like doctors or taking pills, he'll say. Yet by living with the pain what he's really saying is, "I like having a pain in my life that limits me and gives me an out for the responsibility for my own happiness and enjoyment in life."
Ask yourself what you're holding on to and consider what you want to let go of. That could include any of the following:
- People who hurt you
- Objects that you dislike or make you unhappy
- Ideas or concepts about yourself that are harmful or no longer useful
- Situations, like jobs or relationships that make you unhappy
- Clutter, paper, clothes, objects, furniture
- A mole, a wart, a physical aspect about yourself that you dislike
- Inconveniences or burdens on your time and energy
- Other people's problems that are "given" to you
- Something that's eluded you, like success, money, love, a certain clothing size
These are just a few of the common things that you might want to move on from. If so, this is the time to do it. The fall is a time of letting go and then starting over.
Give serious thought to making the one change that could make the biggest difference in your life.
Letting go of the pain and frustration in your life unblocks your life so you can receive what you want - and that even includes ideas. And if you're frustrated by an idea, such as lack of success, then give it up. Let go of your attachment. You might find your biggest gains come from letting go.
© K Weber Communications LLC 2002-2011
Kathryn Weber is the publisher of the Red Lotus Letter Feng Shui E-zine and certified feng shui consultant in classical Chinese feng shui. Kathryn helps her readers improve their lives and generate more wealth with feng shui. For more information and to receive her FREE Ebook "The Cash Register at Your Front Door" visit www.redlotusletter.com and learn the fast and fun way how feng shui can make your life more prosperous and abundant!