Your Big Ol' But

by Doreen Rainey

A couple of weeks ago, I was talking with someone who shared the big goals they were working on. They excitedly went on and on about all that they were going to do and what life would be like once they were accomplished.

As they got more animated and enthusiastic about the direction they were headed, I found myself getting just as pumped up and inspired as they were by hearing them lay out what was to come.

Then I realized something. This conversation sounded very familiar. Like I'd had it before...with this same person!

Then it hit me! We'd actually had a conversation similar to this quite a while ago and I quickly saw that they had made little progress towards achieving them.

When I gently pointed this out, they acknowledged their slow progress but quickly offered a reason. Hearing it, I offered what I thought was a pretty good solution to what they just said. They nodded in agreement and then said, "Yea...but..."

Hearing them out, I empathized with them, however, saw a way for them to work through it. When I shared a new approach they could take with the situation, they nodded in agreement and then said, "Yea...but".

This went on for another 2 rounds of their excuses, my solutions and the inevitable "yea...but".

Finally, I ended the conversation and wished them the best, simply stating, "Your but is too big for me"!

Have you experienced this before? Maybe a friend or family member has come to you and asked for advice. They seem genuine in their request and are attentive to your response, indicating that they are ready to take decisive action on whatever you recommend. And happens.

Their big but gets in the way.

Or, maybe you are the one with the big but! Have you ever said the following:

But...I don't know how.

But...I don't have any support. don't know MY situation.

But...I don't have enough time.

But...I have too many other things to do.'s too hard.

But...I don't know where to start.

If you've ever explored working with a coach, you may have been told that coaches want to work with people who are "ready". What does ready mean? It means you are ready to retire your big ol' but!

It means that instead of looking immediately at the obstacles that come with getting what you want, you focus on the possibilities. It means that instead of seeing the challenges, you see the solutions.

I say retire your "big but" and replace it with a new mantra: "how can I make it happen".

When you turn your attention to proactive steps you can take to overcome your challenges, you realize your but isn't so big after all.

"RADICAL Success Coach Doreen Rainey helps her clients Get RADICAL - by defining success for themselves and getting the guts to go after it. Get her FREE RADICAL Success Starter Kit at"

© 2012 Doreen Rainey

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